Journey Back to Power – Day 4

What do you give your power away to??

I’m gonna be honest here. I’m guilty of sometimes willingly giving my power away to something or someone else.

There are often things that I know would nourish and support me if I took action…. yet I choose something far less supportive in a moment of exhaustion or even just out of pure habituation.

When we’re used to regularly turning off our thinking brains by watching a tv show, or de-stressing with an alcoholic drink at the end of each night, for example, it can be hard to imagine doing something else that might actually help replenish our energy.

Or… in my case…. I’ve spent quite a lot of time thinking about dating over the past couple of years. Not that that’s a BAD thing… it’s just that – if I’m totally honest – I could have probably created a whole empire by now if I had funneled all the energy I’ve used thinking about dating into that instead.

We have to offer ourselves compassion around our habitual patterns. We’re often doing EXACTLY what’s called for at the time – even if it doesn’t look very creative or powerful.

I mean… after being with my ex husband from the time I was 16 years old, I completely understand why this new world of dating might pull at my attention.

Part of taking my power back this month, is being really honest with myself. Because if there’s anything I’ve learned over the past couple years, it’s this:

Where you put your attention is what grows.

I’ve reached a particular point in my life where I’d like to shift my focus.

I’d like to put my attention towards building a future and a certain level of stability for myself and my children.

When I first got divorced, I was scared to be alone. I didn’t know if I could do it all on my own and I was almost hoping to be saved somehow.

Here I am, a couple years later, and I’m confident I can do it on my own. In fact, I can almost feel how pleasurable it is to be my own anchor and to make things happen in my life.

Now that doesn’t mean I don’t still desire a partner or that I won’t still go on dates from time to time…

It’s just that I want to use my precious energy to CREATE my life.

Which means I have to honestly admit where my attention has been, and then shift it to where I’d like it to be instead.

Comment and tell me…

Are you unintentionally giving away your power to something or someone? How can you start to slowly shift your focus to where you’d like it to be? Do you even KNOW what it is you’d rather have your attention focused on?

Catch up on this Journey Back to Power by checking out Day 3 here.

5 Comments On “Journey Back to Power – Day 4”

  1. I struggle with this big time. My rawness— I am stuck in a situation and am quite sick myself, and I care for/help and live with my senior citizen parents. My energy and attention is usually tapped out from *just* these factors. Taking time away from any of this is close to impossible. When I do manage to carve out small pockets of time for myself (such as my gym workouts), I am consumed by guilt. I honestly do not have plans for my life, any goals I once had are either impossible/off the table, or seem beyond reach due to my health & finances. I fight a daily internal battle of feeling I don’t contribute much to the world. I tried having a relationship for the first time in 11 years, but due to him living 1.5 hrs away, even with him willing to drive to see me, it hasn’t worked well.
    It was MASSIVE of me to walk into the gym a year ago. That was my big step. I took another one trying to actually date or have a relationship again. Now, I seem to be treading water, in a sense, unsure what’s next or how to get onto dry land.

    • Wow Kristine! It sounds like you’ve taken two HUGE, life changing steps in the past year!!! I am so proud of you! Sometimes things don’t happen as quickly as we’d like them to, but each step is a step in the right direction. And two as large as getting in the gym regularly and taking a chance at dating again are wildly impactful. I hope you’ll remember to stop and give yourself some serious props for the steps you’ve already taken first and foremost.

      Also… I think once we start asking ourselves questions like what do we want from life and how do we get there, the answers come to us <3

  2. Sometimes the most powerful and difficult thing we can do for ourselves is to ask for the outer and inner help we need.
    One thing I do with my obsessive thoughts or feelings is to stop and ask myself what is under that thought or feeling, what is under that, what is under the next thing, until I get to the root of the thought or feeling. The next time it comes up, I can say “I know you, you are…..” and move on from there, engaging with it, soothing it, or whatever is needed. Sometimes it’s just “thank you for all you’ve done for me in the past, now it’s time to grow. We’ve got this.”

  3. Dear Chris,

    that´s exactly the thing…peeling the onion, layer by layer by layer.
    It takes time and patience and …trust.
    leaps of intuitions included ; ))

    Sometimes when I have been learning about a certain aspect of myself years ago, it happens that I come across it again like “hey, okay, its you again – interesting. Haven´t heard from you in a while!”
    But it´s always from a new angle and a new perspective. Sometimes a new insight aspect is to be gained, sometimes it´s like waving good bye to an old aquaintance over the distance.

    And this right what you said:
    “The next time it comes up, I can say “I know you, you are…..” and move on from there, engaging with it, soothing it, or whatever is needed. Sometimes it’s just “thank you for all you’ve done for me in the past, now it’s time to grow. We’ve got this.”

    This is the core of selfcare for me. This lovely, assuring, We got this! I got you. I got myself.

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