Journey Back to Power – Day 7
How do you push your edges??
Doing something I never imagined I could/would do makes me feel extremely powerful. It reminds me that there’s a world of possibility out there. That I need only expand my imagination to make something a reality.
I always like to envision a sheet of bread dough being rolled out with a rolling pin. Every time I do something that makes me feel a little uncomfortable, that challenges the identity I’ve created for myself in the past, I am rolling out and pushing my edges. I am becoming a more expansive piece of dough.
Overcoming my insecurities, or resistance patterns, around doing these new things reminds me of my own personal power.
Whatever it is that stops me from doing what I’m excited to do is usually just some form of my own imagination getting in the way. Maybe I’m scared to be seen. Maybe I don’t feel like I’m good enough. Maybe I’m so habitually patterned to say “No” that I don’t even consider giving a new opportunity a “Yes.”
Lately, I’ve been proactively exercising this edge pushing muscle. I’ve been excitedly moving towards anything that I identify as an opportunity of expansion.
I’ve read some poems at an open mic night, and I’ve sung at another open mic night (see video).
The thing is – I’m not perfect at these things by any means. Doing something that feels scary is a vulnerable experience.
I have a LONG ways to go with my guitar (and nervous singing) skills! In fact, I played this past week… and well… let’s just say that I can use A LOT more practice.
In the realm of pushing my edges, though, this experience is SO expansive and healing for me. It’s about getting up there, and showing up for myself, despite how I may be received by other people.
There’s a certain fear of rejection that always seems to be a struggle to overcome.
Yet I’ve noticed from doing these things, that people tend to admire courage. Sure – they can hear I’m not perfect – some even mentioned that I still need practice. However, they also seem to come towards me to encourage and celebrate the fact that I showed up at all.
Here I’ve been avoiding these vulnerable edges because I was worried what others might think… and it turns out that by fully owning my own vulnerable spaces, I’m inspiring them to do the same.
Leave me a comment…
How do you push your edges?? How do you feel after you do something that challenges you?
Want to catch up on my Journey Back to Power? Check out the Day 6 post here.
One Comment On “Journey Back to Power – Day 7”
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I love how your open mike performance illustrates what you said in your video. There were so many beautiful places where you seemed to forget you were performing and let your voice shine.
My most difficult edge to overcome is saying what I know or sharing my experience when I know it’s unwelcome. For example: I recently read a blog post saying that mothers used to expose their children to diseases like measles, mumps, and chicken pox before vaccines. He is saying that this is something we should do instead of vaccinating children and instead of being vaccinated against COVID-19. I am a retired pediatrician and accompanied parents and children through the short term effects ranging from mild to death) and the long term consequences (scaring, deafness, neurological injury and more) of these and other preventable diseases. I was also practicing after some of these vaccines and others came into widespread use and experienced the change in my profession. I want to respond to the blog, but I know I would get angry, even threatening responses. I realize I’m at risk sharing this here, as well and I’m hoping this is a safe place. Part of reclaiming power is vulnerability, but it is difficult.