North Star {Smock Stitch Kitty}
This is the sixteenth post in my North Star November series….a soul centered discussion about depression. Each day this month, I’ll be sharing a piece of my soul’s journey, along with a free pattern to thank you for taking part in such an important conversation! Catch up by reading Day 15. Skip forward to Day 17.
Take some time for YOU today!
When you’re not practiced at “filling the watering can” for yourself, getting started can feel a little overwhelming.
Making space for self care, though, doesn’t really require much.
It can be as simple as reading a good book for 15 minutes during nap time, or treating yourself to a new type of tea (take time to savor it!) you haven’t tried before.
What I’ve found most important about self care, is that you diligently make it happen so it can build upon itself.
The more self care you do (and the more consistently!), even if the things you choose are small, the more taken care of you’ll feel.
As Joe Dispenza in Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself says, “Change your personality, change your personal reality.”
You might be surprised to find that the more cared for you feel (even when you’re the one doing the caring!), the more care will come into your life.
What could you do for yourself today?
Comment and tell me…
What’s something you could do for yourself TODAY to help get your self care journey started?
{Though I do try to check all comments here on my blog regularly, it is not monitored 24/7. If you’re struggling with suicidal thoughts, please reach out for help! This suicide hotline is available 24 hours a day to support you: 1-800-273-8255}
Maybe this can help….
Maybe taking some time to learn a new crochet skill, or to try out a new pattern, might be how you treat yourself today! If so, here’s a fun starting point. My Smock Stitch Kitty Hat Crochet Pattern features a fun and unique texture (you’ll see smocking a lot more in knit than in crochet) and all sizes Newborn through Adult.
Smock Stitch Kitty Baby Hat Crochet Pattern
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Smock Stitch Kitty Hat Crochet Pattern
Average Head Circumference Size Chart
13-14″ (33-35.5cm)
14-15″ (35.5-38cm)
14-17″ (35.5-43cm)
16-19″ (40.5-48cm)
18-20″ (45.75-50.75cm)
19-20.5″ (48.25-52cm)
20.5-22″ (52-56cm)
21.5-22.5″ (54.5-57cm)
Materials
- Yarn: Approximately 130 yards of DK (3) yarn for smaller sizes, and approx. 275 yards for largest sizes. (I used Metalico from Blue Sky Alpaca)
- Crochet Hook: Size 4.25mm (G/6) (or whatever size is needed to achieve gauge)
- Yarn or Tapestry Needle
Gauge
10 sts = 2 inches (5 centimeters) in Double Crochet
***It is important to check your gauge!***
Abbreviations
- DC: Double Crochet
- CH: Chain
- FPDC: Front Post Double Crochet
- BPDC: Back Post Double Crochet
- **: Repeat the section in between the two stars as specified
- {}: Designates smock stitch section
Smock Stitch Sequence
(Worked over 6 Stitches)
- FPDC in each of the next two sts,
- yarn over,
- insert your hook (from back to front) between the first FPDC stitch (in prior round) of sequence and the last stitch worked in (prior round) before starting sequence,
- then insert hook (from front to back) between the sixth (last) stitch (in prior round) of sequence and the next stitch (in prior round),
- yarn over,
- draw loop between these stitches and all the way across the front and back to the back side where you originally started,
- yarn over,
- pull through two loops,
- yarn over,
- pull through two loops (one loop now remaining on hook),
- skip the next (third) stitch, and BPDC in the next (fourth) stitch,
- FPDC in each of the last two sts
- (work last three sts inside of the loop you just drew across so loop still shows),
Smock Stitch Sequence Photo & Video Tutorial:
Newborn Pattern
Chain 64 sts using Color 1 (Accent) Yarn
Join in the round by slip stitching first and last sts together. Place Stitch Marker (Optional)
Round 1: Chain 2, Double Crochet into each chain around, slip stitch into first stitch
(64 total sts not including starting chain)
Round 2: CH2, *FPDC into each of the next two sts, BPDC into each of the next two sts* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch
Repeat Round 2 until your project measures approx. 1.25 inches (3.25cm) in length from the starting chain.
Drop Color 1 Yarn and pick up Color 2 (Main Color) Yarn
Round 3: CH2, BPDC into each stitch around, slip stitch into first stitch
Round 4: CH2, FPDC into each of the next 21 sts, {*FPDC into each of the next two sts, BPDC into each of the next two sts* Repeat 4 more times, FPDC into each of the next two sts}, FPDC into each of the next 21 sts, slip stitch into first stitch
Round 5: CH2, FPDC into each of the next 21 sts, {*Complete Smock Stitch Sequence over next six sts, BPDC each of next two sts* Repeat one more time, Complete Smock Stitch Sequence over next six sts}, FPDC into each of the next 21 sts, slip stitch into first stitch (64 total sts)
Round 6: CH2, FPDC into each of the next 21 sts, {*FPDC into each of the next two sts, BPDC into each of the next two sts* Repeat 4 more times, FPDC into each of the next two sts}, FPDC into each of the next 21 sts, slip stitch into first stitch
Round 7: CH2, FPDC into each of the next 21 sts, {FPDC into each of the next two sts, BPDC each of the next two sts, *Complete Smock Stitch Sequence over next six sts, BPDC each of next two sts* Repeat one more time, FPDC into each of the next two sts}, FPDC into each of the next 21 sts, slip stitch into first stitch
Repeat rounds 4-7 until your piece measures approx. 5 inches (12.75cm) from the starting edge. End after a repeat of Round 4 or 6.
Slip stitch into each of the next 16 sts. Turn your project inside out. Fold your project in half so the front 32 sts are directly lined up with the back 32 sts. Starting with the next stitch, SC through 2 sts (one from the front half and the one directly opposite of it on the back half) at a time. This will seam up the top portion of your hat. Repeat for all sts across the top.
Cut yarn and secure and weave in all ends. Turn your hat right side out.
Cut two small pieces of color 1 yarn and use them to tie the corners of the top of the hat as pictured.
Baby 0-3 Months Pattern
Chain 72 sts using Color 1 (Accent) Yarn
Join in the round by slip stitching first and last sts together. Place Stitch Marker (Optional)
Round 1: Chain 2, Double Crochet into each chain around, slip stitch into first stitch
(72 total sts not including starting chain)
Round 2: CH2, *FPDC into each of the next two sts, BPDC into each of the next two sts* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch
Repeat Round 2 until your project measures approx. 1.25 inches (3.25cm) in length from the starting chain.
Drop Color 1 Yarn and pick up Color 2 (Main Color) Yarn
Round 3: CH2, BPDC into each stitch around, slip stitch into first stitch
Round 4: CH2, FPDC into each of the next 25 sts, {*FPDC into each of the next two sts, BPDC into each of the next two sts* Repeat 4 more times, FPDC into each of the next two sts}, FPDC into each of the next 25 sts, slip stitch into first stitch
Round 5: CH2, FPDC into each of the next 25 sts, {*Complete Smock Stitch Sequence over next six sts, BPDC each of next two sts* Repeat one more time, Complete Smock Stitch Sequence over next six sts}, FPDC into each of the next 25 sts, slip stitch into first stitch (72 total sts)
Round 6: CH2, FPDC into each of the next 25 sts, {*FPDC into each of the next two sts, BPDC into each of the next two sts* Repeat 4 more times, FPDC into each of the next two sts}, FPDC into each of the next 25 sts, slip stitch into first stitch
Round 7: CH2, FPDC into each of the next 25 sts, {FPDC into each of the next two sts, BPDC each of the next two sts, *Complete Smock Stitch Sequence over next six sts, BPDC each of next two sts* Repeat one more time, FPDC into each of the next two sts}, FPDC into each of the next 25 sts, slip stitch into first stitch
Repeat rounds 4-7 until your piece measures approx. 5.5 inches (14cm) from the starting edge. End after a repeat of Round 4 or 6.
Slip stitch into each of the next 18 sts. Turn your project inside out. Fold your project in half so the front 36 sts are directly lined up with the back 36 sts. Starting with the next stitch, SC through 2 sts (one from the front half and the one directly opposite of it on the back half) at a time. This will seam up the top portion of your hat. Repeat for all sts across the top.
Cut yarn and secure and weave in all ends. Turn your hat right side out.
Cut two small pieces of color 1 yarn and use them to tie the corners of the top of the hat as pictured.
Baby 3-6 Months Pattern
Chain 76 sts using Color 1 (Accent) Yarn
Join in the round by slip stitching first and last sts together. Place Stitch Marker (Optional)
Round 1: Chain 2, Double Crochet into each chain around, slip stitch into first stitch
(76 total sts not including starting chain)
Round 2: CH2, *FPDC into each of the next two sts, BPDC into each of the next two sts* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch
Repeat Round 2 until your project measures approx. 1.25 inches (3.25cm) in length from the starting chain.
Drop Color 1 Yarn and pick up Color 2 (Main Color) Yarn
Round 3: CH2, BPDC into each stitch around, slip stitch into first stitch
Round 4: CH2, FPDC into each of the next 27 sts, {*FPDC into each of the next two sts, BPDC into each of the next two sts* Repeat 4 more times, FPDC into each of the next two sts}, FPDC into each of the next 27 sts, slip stitch into first stitch
Round 5: CH2, FPDC into each of the next 27 sts, {*Complete Smock Stitch Sequence over next six sts, BPDC each of next two sts* Repeat one more time, Complete Smock Stitch Sequence over next six sts}, FPDC into each of the next 27 sts, slip stitch into first stitch (76 total sts)
Round 6: CH2, FPDC into each of the next 27 sts, {*FPDC into each of the next two sts, BPDC into each of the next two sts* Repeat 4 more times, FPDC into each of the next two sts}, FPDC into each of the next 27 sts, slip stitch into first stitch
Round 7: CH2, FPDC into each of the next 27 sts, {FPDC into each of the next two sts, BPDC each of the next two sts, *Complete Smock Stitch Sequence over next six sts, BPDC each of next two sts* Repeat one more time, FPDC into each of the next two sts}, FPDC into each of the next 27 sts, slip stitch into first stitch
Repeat rounds 4-7 until your piece measures approx. 6 inches (15.25cm) from the starting edge. End after a repeat of Round 4 or 6.
Slip stitch into each of the next 19 sts. Turn your project inside out. Fold your project in half so the front 38 sts are directly lined up with the back 38 sts. Starting with the next stitch, SC through 2 sts (one from the front half and the one directly opposite of it on the back half) at a time. This will seam up the top portion of your hat. Repeat for all sts across the top.
Cut yarn and secure and weave in all ends. Turn your hat right side out.
Cut two small pieces of color 1 yarn and use them to tie the corners of the top of the hat as pictured.
Baby 6-12 Months Pattern
Chain 84 sts using Color 1 (Accent) Yarn
Join in the round by slip stitching first and last sts together. Place Stitch Marker (Optional)
Round 1: Chain 2, Double Crochet into each chain around, slip stitch into first stitch
(84 total sts not including starting chain)
Round 2: CH2, *FPDC into each of the next two sts, BPDC into each of the next two sts* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch
Repeat Round 2 until your project measures approx. 1.25 inches (3.25cm) in length from the starting chain.
Drop Color 1 Yarn and pick up Color 2 (Main Color) Yarn
Round 3: CH2, BPDC into each stitch around, slip stitch into first stitch
Round 4: CH2, FPDC into each of the next 31 sts, {*FPDC into each of the next two sts, BPDC into each of the next two sts* Repeat 4 more times, FPDC into each of the next two sts}, FPDC into each of the next 31 sts, slip stitch into first stitch
Round 5: CH2, FPDC into each of the next 31 sts, {*Complete Smock Stitch Sequence over next six sts, BPDC each of next two sts* Repeat one more time, Complete Smock Stitch Sequence over next six sts}, FPDC into each of the next 31 sts, slip stitch into first stitch (84 total sts)
Round 6: CH2, FPDC into each of the next 31 sts, {*FPDC into each of the next two sts, BPDC into each of the next two sts* Repeat 4 more times, FPDC into each of the next two sts}, FPDC into each of the next 31 sts, slip stitch into first stitch
Round 7: CH2, FPDC into each of the next 31 sts, {FPDC into each of the next two sts, BPDC each of the next two sts, *Complete Smock Stitch Sequence over next six sts, BPDC each of next two sts* Repeat one more time, FPDC into each of the next two sts}, FPDC into each of the next 31 sts, slip stitch into first stitch
Repeat rounds 4-7 until your piece measures approx. 6.5 inches (16.5cm) from the starting edge. End after a repeat of Round 4 or 6.
Slip stitch into each of the next 21 sts. Turn your project inside out. Fold your project in half so the front 42 sts are directly lined up with the back 42 sts. Starting with the next stitch, SC through 2 sts (one from the front half and the one directly opposite of it on the back half) at a time. This will seam up the top portion of your hat. Repeat for all sts across the top.
Cut yarn and secure and weave in all ends. Turn your hat right side out.
Cut two small pieces of color 1 yarn and use them to tie the corners of the top of the hat as pictured.
Toddler 1-3 Year Pattern
Chain 88 sts using Color 1 (Accent) Yarn
Join in the round by slip stitching first and last sts together. Place Stitch Marker (Optional)
Round 1: Chain 2, Double Crochet into each chain around, slip stitch into first stitch
(88 total sts not including starting chain)
Round 2: CH2, *FPDC into each of the next two sts, BPDC into each of the next two sts* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch
Repeat Round 2 until your project measures approx. 1.25 inches (3.25cm) in length from the starting chain.
Drop Color 1 Yarn and pick up Color 2 (Main Color) Yarn
Round 3: CH2, BPDC into each stitch around, slip stitch into first stitch
Round 4: CH2, FPDC into each of the next 33 sts, {*FPDC into each of the next two sts, BPDC into each of the next two sts* Repeat 4 more times, FPDC into each of the next two sts}, FPDC into each of the next 33 sts, slip stitch into first stitch
Round 5: CH2, FPDC into each of the next 33 sts, {*Complete Smock Stitch Sequence over next six sts, BPDC each of next two sts* Repeat one more time, Complete Smock Stitch Sequence over next six sts}, FPDC into each of the next 33 sts, slip stitch into first stitch (88 total sts)
Round 6: CH2, FPDC into each of the next 33 sts, {*FPDC into each of the next two sts, BPDC into each of the next two sts* Repeat 4 more times, FPDC into each of the next two sts}, FPDC into each of the next 33 sts, slip stitch into first stitch
Round 7: CH2, FPDC into each of the next 33 sts, {FPDC into each of the next two sts, BPDC each of the next two sts, *Complete Smock Stitch Sequence over next six sts, BPDC each of next two sts* Repeat one more time, FPDC into each of the next two sts}, FPDC into each of the next 33 sts, slip stitch into first stitch
Repeat rounds 4-7 until your piece measures approx. 6.75 inches (17cm) from the starting edge. End after a repeat of Round 4 or 6.
Slip stitch into each of the next 22 sts. Turn your project inside out. Fold your project in half so the front 44 sts are directly lined up with the back 44 sts. Starting with the next stitch, SC through 2 sts (one from the front half and the one directly opposite of it on the back half) at a time. This will seam up the top portion of your hat. Repeat for all sts across the top.
Cut yarn and secure and weave in all ends. Turn your hat right side out.
Cut two small pieces of color 1 yarn and use them to tie the corners of the top of the hat as pictured.
Child 3-10 Year Pattern
Chain 96 sts using Color 1 (Accent) Yarn
Join in the round by slip stitching first and last sts together. Place Stitch Marker (Optional)
Round 1: Chain 2, Double Crochet into each chain around, slip stitch into first stitch
(96 total sts not including starting chain)
Round 2: CH2, *FPDC into each of the next two sts, BPDC into each of the next two sts* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch
Repeat Round 2 until your project measures approx. 1.25 inches (3.25cm) in length from the starting chain.
Drop Color 1 Yarn and pick up Color 2 (Main Color) Yarn
Round 3: CH2, BPDC into each stitch around, slip stitch into first stitch
Round 4: CH2, FPDC into each of the next 37 sts, {*FPDC into each of the next two sts, BPDC into each of the next two sts* Repeat 4 more times, FPDC into each of the next two sts}, FPDC into each of the next 37 sts, slip stitch into first stitch
Round 5: CH2, FPDC into each of the next 37 sts, {*Complete Smock Stitch Sequence over next six sts, BPDC each of next two sts* Repeat one more time, Complete Smock Stitch Sequence over next six sts}, FPDC into each of the next 37 sts, slip stitch into first stitch (96 total sts)
Round 6: CH2, FPDC into each of the next 37 sts, {*FPDC into each of the next two sts, BPDC into each of the next two sts* Repeat 4 more times, FPDC into each of the next two sts}, FPDC into each of the next 37 sts, slip stitch into first stitch
Round 7: CH2, FPDC into each of the next 37 sts, {FPDC into each of the next two sts, BPDC each of the next two sts, *Complete Smock Stitch Sequence over next six sts, BPDC each of next two sts* Repeat one more time, FPDC into each of the next two sts}, FPDC into each of the next 37 sts, slip stitch into first stitch
Repeat rounds 4-7 until your piece measures approx. 7 inches (17.75cm) from the starting edge. End after a repeat of Round 4 or 6.
Slip stitch into each of the next 24 sts. Turn your project inside out. Fold your project in half so the front 48 sts are directly lined up with the back 48 sts. Starting with the next stitch, SC through 2 sts (one from the front half and the one directly opposite of it on the back half) at a time. This will seam up the top portion of your hat. Repeat for all sts across the top.
Cut yarn and secure and weave in all ends. Turn your hat right side out.
Cut two small pieces of color 1 yarn and use them to tie the corners of the top of the hat as pictured.
Pre-teen/Teen Pattern
Chain 100 sts using Color 1 (Accent) Yarn
Join in the round by slip stitching first and last sts together. Place Stitch Marker (Optional)
Round 1: Chain 2, Double Crochet into each chain around, slip stitch into first stitch
(100 total sts not including starting chain)
Round 2: CH2, *FPDC into each of the next two sts, BPDC into each of the next two sts* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch
Repeat Round 2 until your project measures approx. 1.25 inches (3.25cm) in length from the starting chain.
Drop Color 1 Yarn and pick up Color 2 (Main Color) Yarn
Round 3: CH2, BPDC into each stitch around, slip stitch into first stitch
Round 4: CH2, FPDC into each of the next 39 sts, {*FPDC into each of the next two sts, BPDC into each of the next two sts* Repeat 4 more times, FPDC into each of the next two sts}, FPDC into each of the next 39 sts, slip stitch into first stitch
Round 5: CH2, FPDC into each of the next 39 sts, {*Complete Smock Stitch Sequence over next six sts, BPDC each of next two sts* Repeat one more time, Complete Smock Stitch Sequence over next six sts}, FPDC into each of the next 39 sts, slip stitch into first stitch (100 total sts)
Round 6: CH2, FPDC into each of the next 39 sts, {*FPDC into each of the next two sts, BPDC into each of the next two sts* Repeat 4 more times, FPDC into each of the next two sts}, FPDC into each of the next 39 sts, slip stitch into first stitch
Round 7: CH2, FPDC into each of the next 39 sts, {FPDC into each of the next two sts, BPDC each of the next two sts, *Complete Smock Stitch Sequence over next six sts, BPDC each of next two sts* Repeat one more time, FPDC into each of the next two sts}, FPDC into each of the next 39 sts, slip stitch into first stitch
Repeat rounds 4-7 until your piece measures approx. 7.5 inches (19cm) from the starting edge. End after a repeat of Round 4 or 6.
Slip stitch into each of the next 25 sts. Turn your project inside out. Fold your project in half so the front 50 sts are directly lined up with the back 50 sts. Starting with the next stitch, SC through 2 sts (one from the front half and the one directly opposite of it on the back half) at a time. This will seam up the top portion of your hat. Repeat for all sts across the top.
Cut yarn and secure and weave in all ends. Turn your hat right side out.
Cut two small pieces of color 1 yarn and use them to tie the corners of the top of the hat as pictured.
Adult Pattern
Chain 100 sts using Color 1 (Accent) Yarn
Join in the round by slip stitching first and last sts together. Place Stitch Marker (Optional)
Round 1: Chain 2, Double Crochet into each chain around, slip stitch into first stitch
(100 total sts not including starting chain)
Round 2: CH2, *FPDC into each of the next two sts, BPDC into each of the next two sts* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch
Repeat Round 2 until your project measures approx. 1.25 inches (3.25cm) in length from the starting chain.
Drop Color 1 Yarn and pick up Color 2 (Main Color) Yarn
Round 3: CH2, BPDC into each stitch around, slip stitch into first stitch
Round 4: CH2, FPDC into each of the next 39 sts, {*FPDC into each of the next two sts, BPDC into each of the next two sts* Repeat 4 more times, FPDC into each of the next two sts}, FPDC into each of the next 39 sts, slip stitch into first stitch
Round 5: CH2, FPDC into each of the next 39 sts, {*Complete Smock Stitch Sequence over next six sts, BPDC each of next two sts* Repeat one more time, Complete Smock Stitch Sequence over next six sts}, FPDC into each of the next 39 sts, slip stitch into first stitch (100 total sts)
Round 6: CH2, FPDC into each of the next 39 sts, {*FPDC into each of the next two sts, BPDC into each of the next two sts* Repeat 4 more times, FPDC into each of the next two sts}, FPDC into each of the next 39 sts, slip stitch into first stitch
Round 7: CH2, FPDC into each of the next 39 sts, {FPDC into each of the next two sts, BPDC each of the next two sts, *Complete Smock Stitch Sequence over next six sts, BPDC each of next two sts* Repeat one more time, FPDC into each of the next two sts}, FPDC into each of the next 39 sts, slip stitch into first stitch
Repeat rounds 4-7 until your piece measures approx. 7.5 inches (19cm) from the starting edge. End after a repeat of Round 4 or 6.
Slip stitch into each of the next 25 sts. Turn your project inside out. Fold your project in half so the front 50 sts are directly lined up with the back 50 sts. Starting with the next stitch, SC through 2 sts (one from the front half and the one directly opposite of it on the back half) at a time. This will seam up the top portion of your hat. Repeat for all sts across the top.
Cut yarn and secure and weave in all ends. Turn your hat right side out.
Cut two small pieces of color 1 yarn and use them to tie the corners of the top of the hat as pictured.
This design, a written work and images are a copyright of
©MelodysMakings and may not be copied or reproduced in any way.
You have permission to sell finished products made from this pattern, but please leave a link to my website, www.melodys-makings.com, in your product listing specifying that I am the designer of this pattern. Thank you for supporting me as a work at home mother!
27 Comments On “North Star {Smock Stitch Kitty}”
Comments are closed.
Something I could do for myself would be to always look upon the goodness around me, blessed be!
I plan to ignore anything negative. And just smile through the day!
I have an auto immune disease and it’s difficult some days to just do daily activities, but I try to find the time and energy to crochet because it reduces my anxiety about not getting things done and reduces my anxiety about the disease. Crocheting also makes me feel productive when I don’t have the energy to do anything else! 🙂
I took myself out for breakfast.
I had hoped to have breakfast with my son, but when he didn’t reply, I went anyway. I sat in the cafe, watched the world go by, knit, enjoyed my Breakfast and my latte. And enjoyed just being.
Melody,
Your email today really touched me. I spent from 5pm until after 11pm at the ER last night with my oldest daughter & her husband waiting on results to see if she was having a heart attack or something equally serious. She was not, Thank God! But she can’t seem to sit still, take a minute for herself, relax. I appreciate steps that you’re giving to help smooth out the rough spots. They’re invaluable. ♥️♥️♥️
I’ve had this adorable design favorited (is that a word???) for quite some time. Now to sit down & make it. I’d love to have the pdf for the crochet version.
the only good thing about going to doctors is how much knitting I get done in the waiting rooms…I actually sold something once 🙂
this has been close to the worse week for me. I feel there are things going on that I need to know about but no one is talking to me concerning the problem but that its me that caused it. Am I this lump that has no say so in the world I am living in. Live with family and am working on getting a place of my own just need to be able to afford it on my SS income. Have apps in at low-income housing and praying to hear soon But it looks like March before that can happen. I went for a walk and did some crochet helps to relax me but the tension is so great here.
I am feeling guilty for not going out of state for my sister’s memorial service tomorrow, yet I felt that I didn’t need the extra sorrow at this time with all the stress I have been dealing with here at home. I am hoping to go to a Christmas Craft Show this weekend and am hoping that helps cheer me up. Today is just a hard day to do anything. I am also hoping to do some crocheting and possibly some sewing. I just love sitting and crafting, however, that does not solve the problems around me.
Have a flare up, of Fibromyalgia, Then was told, I also have osteoarthritis, So taking one day at a time, If I can do it I will, if not, then no problem,It will still be there tomorrow, I am thankful for each day, and my Amazing Family (My Daughter, her Husband & My 2 Gorgeous GrandDaughters )
Melody,
I have been meaning to write you a comment before now, but I have been procrastinating. I know a little about depression, although I would not say that I am clinically depressed. My depression comes from grief, and I am working through it. On February 25, 2017 my Momma passed away and it was awful. I had to make the decision, with her, to take her off of the breathing machine that was keeping her alive. While on the machine, my mom was fully alert, awake, and absolutely herself. Within minutes of being removed she was in a coma, and over the course of a day and a half, she died in my arms. Her loss, almost destroyed me. I carried so much guilt and pain, it was overwhelming. I hardly remember the first year after she died. I was in such a dark place. On the anniversary of her death, my husband, and lifeline, took me to the Outerbanks for the weekend. I sat on the balcony and cried the whole night the 25th of February, 2018. Then I realized that I had to let the guilt go. That if my mom had not gone to the hospital the week before she died, she would not have survived that night and I would not have had the blessing of that last week with her…and it was a good week. Mom and I talked, and laughed. And this is significant, she told me that every time I see a cardinal it is her, coming to check on me. I see them everywhere I go now. See, I hadn’t got to see her in a couple of years because we lived in different states. If she would have died that night, I would not have been able to see her that one last time. I realized, sitting on that balcony, just how lucky I was! And then the sun came up over the ocean, my first ocean sunrise, and there were dolphins swimming in the ocean, at sunrise. It was beautiful, breathtaking, and like a message from Momma that everything was going to be okay. Since then, I still cry on occasion, and I still miss her everyday, and that is okay. But I no longer carry the guilt that was weighing me down. I can now laugh about the times that we shared, and talk about her. I know that I will always miss her, but I also know that she lives on in me, my children, and my grandchildren…and those little cardinals that constantly stop by to see me.
I want to thank you Melody for sharing your story. Sharing our stories, can truly make a difference. Here is to healing, and learning to be thankful for the little things…because sometimes it is the smallest things, that make the biggest difference.
“What’s something you could do for yourself TODAY to help get your self care journey started?” I took time this morning to replenish my homemade skin care cream. I tend to have occasional psoriasis out breaks that I’ve been able to keep under control with my cream – to my Dr.’s surprise. I was told that I would always have a continual outbreak that would never go away but I’m praising God that He has a better plan. It’s a bit chilly here in CO but the sun is shinning and I plan to have a walk to kick off a wonderful weekend and I’m hoping you have one also!!
I spend time every morning talking to God! I might use a scripture as a prayer or even add on to it! This has been my saving grace!
I grew up in a very disfunctional family. It was my normal so I didn’t know anything else. I was the 5th of 7 children and I learned to stay in the shadows at a very early age. I was always frightened of upsetting someone, anyone, so I just didn’t do anything to draw attention to myself. I always tried to please & keep peace. It wasn’t until I was 40 that I finally had a lightbulb moment & decided it was time to be happy being me and to heck with everyone else. Even if it meant loosing friends & family. The friends I lost were the negative ones. The family I lost, I got back after 12 years. These new friends I found are happy & fun to be with. Yes, I still have my days but they are very far between now. I used to take a book & go to my favourite restaurant, take tea & go to the beach to listen to the waves or go to a movie. I no longer cared if I was by myself, I had learned to “like me” and I really, really like me!
I guess what I’m saying is we have to learn to take care of ourselves or we are not going to be able to take care of our family or anyone who may need us. It’s not easy, I know from experience, but baby steps.
Melody, thank you for sharing your journey.
Yesterday I found out that I am expecting my 3ed child. I plan on putting me feet up and crocheting this pattern! Thank you <3
I plan on just staying inside where it is warm and crochet me some slippers
My Friday’s include going to my knitting group at a local pizza place. I’m just now home from there. Next, my neighbor has invited me over to learn to make a new type of pastry! I’m excited!
I managed after a long sickness to walk outside and enjoy the cool weather in Florida.
Going for a walk, especially if I can get to the beach, knitting something, for myself of others doesn’t matter, eating mostly healthy foods but remembering that it is okay to sometimes eat something that isn’t healthy and not feeling guilty about that.
Going to make sure I get enough rest tonight. Not setting any alarms and just relaxing after a hard week. I can handle so much more when I am well rested. The kiddo is out of school next and even though we have several appointments and dialysis for hubby still it’s going to be a slower pace and hoping to just enjoy each moment as they come. Hope you and your family can do the same.
today I did things that I wanted to do, spend time with myself, sewing and crocheting. Checking out the new to me sewing machine was fun. I love getting new toys lol.
Who what am I going to do for myself today? Well I have already spent two and a half hours today at the Social Security office getting my online account unlocked so that I could finish my retirement application. It is 8 p.m. now and I’m tired so I’m thinking about heading for bed while the kiddos are out pokemoning! This after a lovely day of fasting. I managed to do 24 hours!!
Today I did do something for my own selfcare, I bought myself a set of blue tooth headphones so I can listen to music on my downtime at work to help lower my blood pressure, and hopefully help me stop getting so many migraines so I can function and be a better mom and wife.
Good for you!
I’m sorry you son didn’t reply. My daughter often ignores me. I’m glad you took time for yourself to enjoy breakfast and knit! 🙂
Hello Ms Leesa,
You are an exceptional person. Your reply touched my heart. I also lost my mother 4 years ago. On Tuesday she was fine. We took a shuttle to her doctors appt , came home and had supper. She went to bed that night and never did wake up again. She passed away4 days later at home in her own bed with her puppies and me laying with her for hours. You do go to a dark place. I would break down at least , I guess 10 times an hour. I went into outpatient therapy M-F from 8-4 for 8 weeks. They brought me back. It wasn’t easy and it still isn’t. I’m now taking care of my daddy. Now that’s a tough one. Ok enough about me. I just wanted to let know that you touched my heart as I read your text. I know you loved and cared for your momma and she truly is with you everyday whether it be riding on the wings of a Cardinal. There is no need to feel guilty. My got her wings on January 25, just a month before your momma and it was 2014.
Have a blessed and safe week and weekend. You just walk one step at a time.
I started going to group therapy. In my family being aware you have a problem is a NoNo! But going to therapy….HOLD THE PHONE! lol. Seriously though they’ve looked down on it and if you bring it up, talk about hearing a pin drop!! I finally admitted I needed help, I needed help! Chronic pain is an UGLY disease! Living with it for over 25 years finally brought me to my knees. I’m housebound and VERY isolated. All I have is my husband and 2 kids.
Group therapy has been very helpful in the short time frame I’ve been there. I just wished they talked more about pain.
I agree! Having a group you can lean on for support is huge. So glad you found a group that’s supportive to you, and I’m proud of you for standing up and getting yourself some help…way to go!