5 Things You Should Know When Expecting A Boy

There was a time in my life when I knew nothing about boys.  I wouldn’t have admitted it then, but now I’m more than willing to confess how truly clueless I was.  After all, I was raised with a sister, and though my dad tried as hard as he could to turn me into a boy, my girly roots won out in the end.  I had no idea what I was in for while expecting a son.

So you can imagine how {trying to find the right words here} shocking, bewildering, fun, overwhelming, and awesome my last three years have been.  There are some things, both amazing and appalling, that you simply can’t prepare yourself for until you experience raising a boy yourself….here’s a quick little list of 5 things you should know if you’re expecting a boy.

1. Your days of avoiding all insect life are over.

Bugs

My son’s collection of bugs from this morning….it’s only 9:30am here.

Prepare to get intimately familiar with bugs.  There may have been a time when you lived peacefully alongside spiders just because you didn’t want the fright of squishing them….those days are now over.  Now, instead of avoiding touching bugs altogether, you’ll be lucky to get away without having to give them a goodnight kiss {Really….I’m not kidding.  My son has actually tried to wait me out on the kiss before.  Luckily I’m pretty stubborn too.}.  Just submit to the fact that you’ll be petting whatever type of crawly creatures your little guy finds on a regular basis.

2. Prepare to be grossly familiar with the male anatomy.

Little Boys

Learn to embrace nudity….after all, there’s only one time in a boy’s life when he can run around naked in public, and this is it!

Admit it….you’ve been a little shocked when looking at the male anatomy in the past.  Maybe it doesn’t happen every time you see a “ding-dong”, but sometimes you find yourself wondering what this alien creature is all about.  Have no fear!  Little boys LOVE nudity.  You’ll struggle to get pants on him to go to the grocery store, so even attempting to wrestle some on him while you’re home will just become a foreign notion.  That element of surprise you used to get when looking at a “pee-pee” will be gone forever….the UPS person who delivers to your house, the Schwan’s man, and the garbage truck driver will get over it too.

3. Your definition of dirty is about to be blown out of the water.

Little boys have this crazy ability to get things dirty.  Unfortunately, when I say dirty I don’t even mean that mess made by toys strewn all around the house type of dirty either.  Boys have this special need to turn everything they eat into a powder of crumbs and spread them all across your house.  They also enjoy smashing nuts into bits and pieces, emptying every available toy bin onto the floor (usually so they can put a bug inside) and leaving a trail of dirty diapers in their wake.

4. Farts are funny and potty training….not so much.

You’re about to get very familiar with every type of bodily function there ever was….and not just for the first year.  If you think changing dirty diapers sounds bad, just wait until you dive into potty training and go through that fun stage where he poops on the floor….regularly.  It’s time to embrace the fact that farts really are funny (come on…you know you’ve thought that way for a while) and potty training will someday be something to look back and laugh about.

5.Your perception of fun will never be the same.

For every crazy, dirty, or shocking habit your little boy will have, he’s going to have one equally as fun.  Your idea of a good time is going to be ruined from here on out.  It’s simple.  Nothing will be as fun without your wild child experiencing it along with you.  Welcome to the most fun you’ve ever had <3

Has your little guy ever done something to shock, or bewilder you!?  Share you story by commenting on this post.

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